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Top 10 Writerly Things to Do at 3am

1. Post on your blog even though you know no one reads it.

"I'm so sad. No body loves me."

2. Keep on drinkin’ away at that bottle of cheap red wine that depicts a foot or a penguin on the label.

"Screw you guys, I've got the Truth in a bottle."

3. Look up pictures of kittens doing everything you wish you were doing.

"Uhhh..." Oh that's right, you don't know what you want to be doing at 3am. Hence the problem.

4. List all the shitty things your significant other does to piss you off.

So obnoxious!

5. Look up all your old boy/girlfriends on face book and reminisce about your first kiss.


6. Look up job postings in your area. (A writer should always have 6 or 27 back up careers.)

You get the picture.

7. Make a list of all the words that annoy you. Like “moist” and “engine.” Seriously, en-gin. Ennn-gin. Who came up with that?

"Dunno. But I like my ride."

8. Make a list of all the people who have had the most influence on you life, good or bad.

"Rememer me? I did that thing that time."

8. Learn how to count.

"Mathz iz hard."

9. Have a snack.

I said a sanck, not a bloody feast!

10. Write about the thing that scares you the most.

"It wasn't me, I swear!"

But what ever you do, just don’t do this:

Seriously. Don't do it.

Ah, shit, it’s almost 4 am. Now what do I do?